AAP letter to US President demanding clarity on issue based support

Published on Faking News in Dec 13

We sourced this letter from unknown, undisclosable but reliable sources. It looks like a letter written by AAP to US President demanding clarity on his support to issues raised by AAP.
letter
Going global
Date: 14th December 2013
To
President of United States of America
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington
United States of America
Dear Mr. Obama,
I am sure you would be aware that Aam Aadmi Party took birth due to corrupt, hegemonistic & imperialistic policies of United States of America which have left the rest of the world poor, destitute & divided causing acute distress to the common man.
Now since you have stated that you support the formation of AAP government in Delhi, the public wishes to know the issues on which you are willing to support us. The world has many burning issues which have been made more acute due to USA’s continuation of above stated policies.
I am listing below some of the issues and I hope you would clarify your stand in clear terms without obfuscating them with ‘principled stands’ or ‘stated positions’
a)      Would your government make it compulsory for every citizen to wear, at all times, a AAP topi (cap) bearing the words “Main Aam Aadmi Hun” written in Urdu?
b)      Citizens of Delhi cannot afford the high price of petro products. Would USA convince its Arab friends to supply 200 ltrs of petrol, 200 ltrs of diesel & 2 cylinders of LPG per month to each citizen of Delhi at subsidized rates of Re. 1, Rs. 2 and Rs. 7 respectively.
c)       Would USA agree to grant every citizen of Delhi a lifetime, unlimited entry visa without any fees, processing and interrogation? Would USA agree not to do any security check on the arrivals from Delhi and custom check on departures?
d)      Would USA bring a legislation in US Congress thereby making it mandatory for every corporate in USA having a turnover of more than $10000 to employ at least 30% of its manpower from Delhi?
e)      Would USA enact a legislation to permit Delhi Sadar Bazaar branches in each US city having a population of over 100000 and make it mandatory to source at least 30% of their daily needs from these branches?
f)       Would USA agree that every graduate from Lovely Professional University is given a higher honorary degree from Harvard University?
g)      USA and its friends have complete control over the United Nations Security Council. To make it more democratic, would the USA, U.K. & France unilaterally & unequivocally resign from the council and support our new nominations Cuba, Palestine & North Korea as declared in our manifesto?
h)      Would USA disband Central Intelligence Agency and send all the staff to Pakistan for a reorientation & ideological training? We would definitely provide logistical support in the laboratory of J&K, as stated by my esteemed colleague Mr. Prashant Bhushan.
i)        Would USA agree to give complete freedom to all its 52 member states? Our manifesto is categorical on this issue and we would require your assurance on this.
j)        Would USA agree to supply nuclear weapon technology to all our friendly countries i.e. Iran, Iraq, Cuba, Afghanistan, Syria etc.
If you do not agree to unconditionally support us on above issues, or in case we do not get your response within 10 days, we would have to surmise, with deep regret, that US government is indulging in politics over issues sensitive to public of Delhi. Also, in such a situation, we would be forced to presume that you have deliberately obstructed formation of AAP government in Delhi, one that represents Aam Aadmi, is against corruption and represents the will of people and will be forced to expose the dirty politics played by you and your government.
We await your response.

Arvind Kejriwal

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